Always Remember…

Always Remember…

My mom got her first email account in 2008. After receiving a few emails, I decided to create a folder for her messages. I named it “mama,” and from that day, I filed any message from her in this folder. Looking back, I had no motivation for doing this. I just did it. Today, I am so thankful I did. This Sunday will be my fourth Mother’s Day without my mom. It will be the fourth Mother’s Day where I will celebrate her in spirit only. It will be the fourth Mother’s Day of longing. Longing to hear her voice. Longing to see her face. Longing to feel her arms wrap me in the type of therapeutic embrace only a mama can provide. It will be the fourth Mother’s Day of missing her. Missing the daily phone calls and emails. Missing the drives home for weekend visits and trips to our shops. Missing her encouragement and support. Missing her loving on the kids. Missing her so much because my life never knew a second without her in it until she was gone. It will be the fourth Mother’s Day of remembering. I’ll remember her smile and her laugh. I’ll remember her delight for her children and grandchildren. I’ll remember the feel of my hand in hers. I’ll remember her presence during every important milestone of my life. I’ll remember a love so pure and so constant that my breath catches to realize I had the privilege of experiencing it for 35 years. It will be the fourth Mother’s Day of Memaw memories. The kids and I will look at pictures and remember. We’ll remember her playing pool balls in the club house with Matthew. We’ll remember her trying to take a nap with Mason only to have Mason touch and name each part of her face…Memaw’s nose, Memaw’s mouth, Memaw’s eyes…over and over. We’ll remember her pulling the both of them around and around in the wagon. We’ll remember her climbing on the playground and pushing them on the swing. We’ll remember Bop and Little Girl. We’ll remember Play-Doh and Old Maid and Dr. Suess. We’ll remember hair dryers after baths and rock-a-by-babies. We’ll remember this little piggy and forehead bumper and twinkle, twinkle little star. We’ll remember prizes and treats and toys. We’ll remember every cuddle and kiss and whispered I love you. It will be the fourth Mother’s Day of opening the “mama” folder and reading her words. Words of love… “Give the babies a kiss and hug for me. Here’s one for my little girl too HUG, HUG, HUG. I love you all so very much.” And her words of faith and wisdom… “Dad is such a loved man by so many people and I think when God is ready to take him it’s because he really needs a wonderful, gracious, generous, kind and loving person to enter his kingdom. He knows how much we love him but God loves him even more.” And her message to her girls… “I love my girls so much, you guys are so thoughtful and caring and have such big hearts. We were blessed when God gave us our girls.” And her don’t forgets… Don’t forget that I love you so much and can’t wait until you come home. Pooh you help me each day, all the calls and talks and just to know you care means so much to me. You’re not here close but always remember I keep you close to my heart each and every day. Love Mama” Yes, Mama, I will always remember. I can never, ever forget.  ...

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