It’s Gonna Be Worth It

Today I woke up disheartened, disillusioned, and dumbfounded. My heart is truly broken.

While some may view my reactions as typical side effects of losing, my soul knows otherwise.

I watched the beginnings of the election results with my two children, cuddled up with me in bed, my husband with us in spirit as he had to be present at work. The images of their hopeful faces when I put them to bed haunted me as I turned off the television hours later. Dread replaced excited anticipation as I knew I’d be delivering the news of Trump’s win to my two precious children in mere hours.

How would I look them in the eye and explain a win for the very things we vilify in our family. How do I explain a win for misogyny, bigotry, hate, slander, disrespect, and intolerance?

Because here’s the thing, we placed our hope in a win for Hillary Clinton not because we placed our hope in her, an imperfect, flawed human being, but because we placed our hope in the things her platform embraces: love, unity, kindness, acceptance, tolerance, hope, and decency. We voted for the candidate whose message and conduct most reflected the value messages of our family.

My husband and I parent from a place of love and grace. There’s absolutely no room for the rhetoric spewed by Trump during his campaign when you parent from a place of love.

There’s no compromising on deal-breakers like unkindness, self-righteous judgement, disrespect, and entitlement in our family. We’ve worked tirelessly to instill empathy and love for others, regardless of their race, religion, sexual orientation, economic status, or disabilities.

My husband and I have both managed to break cycles of racism which existed in various degrees on both sides of our extended families by teaching our children to value diversity, to look past the outward, physical appearance of a person to his/her heart.

We refused to undo the work of almost a decade by walking the tightrope of hypocrisy; teaching our children respect and decency for all humanity at home while supporting a man who showed neither during his campaign.

From the first slur to the last words of mockery, we remained unwavering in our decision to vote against Donald Trump.

So my feelings of disillusionment and disbelief are not a result of my candidate losing.

They’re the outcome of something far more disturbing; the realization others ignored the glaring signs of bigotry and intolerance and fear-mongering which permeated the heart of an entire campaign to cling to party loyalty or single-issue promises.

Promises to end abortion, promises to reduce taxes, promises to end big government, promises to kick-start a stagnant economy, promises to protect gun rights.

But perhaps the most unsettling are those who voted because of the hate rhetoric. Those who showed up and placed a vote for promises which reflect the dark heart of the campaign.

Promises to ban Muslims, promises to kick-out illegal rapist and murderous immigrants (with the implication that all fall into one or both of those categories), promises to build a wall, promises to reverse LGBT-rights legislation.

These thoughts made for a very restless night of sleep, but then, somewhere in the early morning, lyrics from various worship songs floated in and out of my mind.

And then this one. A song I haven’t really heard or listened to since my mom and dad’s passing.

“I don’t understand your ways

Oh but I will give you my song.

I give you all of my praise.

You hold on to all my pain and

With it you are pulling me closer,

Pulling me into your ways..

Now around every corner,

And up every mountain,

I’m not looking for crowns

Or the water from fountains.

I’m desperate in seeking, frantic believing

That the sight of your face

Is all that I need.

I will say to you

It’s gonna be worth it,

It’s gonna be worth it,

It’s gonna be worth it all.

There it is right there. With this devastating, hurtful turn in our presidency, I have the opportunity to be pulled closer to God and His ways.

This election is not an end to what we can and should be doing as believers, walking in the ways of God, it’s an opportunity to step up our game and do it with a greater fervor than ever before.

I started with telling my children the election results. I told them very matter-of-factly who won, without a trace of bitterness or frustration. I told them we will not walk in fear but in trust and faith. I told them we will cling to the goodness of this country and the people who work to spread that goodness. I told them we will walk in grace as we always have. I told them we will pray.

And we bowed our heads, held hands, and prayed for our new president.

We will continue to walk in love and grace and tolerance in our family. We will continue to embrace the marginalized.

We will continue to push back against the dark with our light, especially when divisiveness comes creeping in on the heels of an election, knowing in the end………….it’s gonna be worth it, it’s gonna be worth it, it’s gonna be worth it all.



1 Comment

  1. Dr. Clark Roush
    Nov 9, 2016

    Bless you for this, Carrie! Your heart is as radiant as your smile, and the world needs both. Thank you!

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